Shane Parrish
Creating Intentional Environments and Taking Responsibility
- Joining groups whose default behaviors are your desired behavior is an effective way to create an intentional environment. If you want to read more, join a book club. If you want to run more, join a running club. If you want to exercise more, hire a trainer.
- The path to being exceptional begins when you decide to be responsible for your actions no matter the situation. Exceptional people know they can't change the hand they've been dealt, and don't waste time wishing for a better one.
- Failing to accept how the world really works puts your time and energy toward proving how right you are. When the desired results don't materialize, it's easy to blame circumstances or others. This is the wrong side of right - you're focused on your ego not the outcome.
Emotional Management and Self-Control
- Some people are like corks bobbing around in the waves of an emotional sea. Their actions are in thrall to their emotions. Other people decide to take command of their life. They seize the helm, decide where they want to go, and steer the ship in that direction despite the waves.
- Emotional intensity is far less important in the long run than disciplined consistency. Inspiration and excitement might get you going, but persistence and routine are what keep you going until you reach your goals.
Building Confidence and Accepting Reality
- Most dreams die from a lack of confidence, not competence.
- People who are confident aren't afraid of facing reality because they know they can handle it. Confident people don't care what other people think about them, aren't afraid of standing out, and are willing to risk looking like an idiot while they try something new.
- They've been beaten down and rebuilt themselves enough times to know that they can do it again if they have to.
- Self-confidence is also the strength to accept hard truths. We all have to deal with the world as it is, not as we want it to be.
Avoiding Echo Chambers and Following Examples
- Surrounding yourself with people who tell you you're right doesn't mean you are. And once you dive into the warm water of group acceptance, it's hard to get back out. The social default strikes again!
- It's not enough just to pick exemplars and assemble a personal board of directors. You also have to follow their example—not just once or twice, but again and again.
- Imitating your exemplars involves creating space in the moment to exercise reason and evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and possible courses of action.
Habit Formation and Personal Rules
- The path to breaking bad habits is making your desired behavior the default behavior.